Panic Attack.

It wasn’t just cars.

It’s everything.

Screams.

Loud music.

Heat.

Discomfort.

The idea of not being able to escape triggers it.

The thought of not being able to make it stop makes it worse.

It builds up and it gets to your head.

To my head.

My heart feels it welling up and it beats faster just to cope up.

My psyche screams.

My body gets confused.

My lungs start to catch its phase.

I can’t breathe.

I can’t think.

My head will explode.

And the worst thing when it happens is that..

No one would ever understand.

The Ghost

I need not stay
But I lingered.

Somehow I always
Choose to be that way.

To love them
Doesn't mean they'll love you back.

But I never did stop.

Nor did I think twice.

I just.. linger.

Lethargy.

I am tired.
I want to close my eyes, go to sleep and mean it.

I'm beat.
I wish I could make the world stop turning for a moment so I can take a break without the guilt feeling of slacking off.

I'm fagged.
I wish to escape from the role i am currently required to play.

I'm exhausted.
Please stop.

I'm over fatigued.
Somebody save me.

Serendipity of Melancholy

“So I thought..”It has been palpable
For some reason I knew you had it in you
A burden?
Sadness?
A broken heart maybe..
I’m in no position to decipher
Yet somehow I felt it Those blank stares
A sense of you being near yet still so far
Warmth emanating from you
Are frozen because of your cold armour

Those sweet smiles can’t conceal
Melancholy you try so hard to hide Maladroit, I am
So, maladroitly I reach out
Blatant as it may seem
To care less has been my means

Lonely lad, let me help you
Hold my hand and don’t let go Let me cure the pain and melancholy within
I promise no scoring through of whatever was there
I promise no rainbow after those rains
I promise no stars in those black nights
I promise no sugar to coat the bitter ends

But I CAN and WILL give you a hand to hold on My shoulders are free, go on and cry
My ears are willing, speak as you please
My arms are open, you need not act tough
My hands are all set, do hold on
Lay to rest your queries, I may never do
But rest assured I’m here for you

I never asked for it
But answers dawned on me
Signs, never did I believe
To this though, am I construing it right?
To intrude, I don’t mean
But if apparitions are allowed to care,
This ghost of a sight is willing to be there…

Fatality

Mush mush *blech*

Hmm.. Too much role to portray, somehow it gets tiring. Too many faces to live with, it gets to the point of sickening. For how long should one keep his face masked? Only he would know.. Intentions were maladroitly felt.. Ha! Maladroitly, I point out, coz somehow what was felt now seems a whirlpool of vagueness and disgrace..

Coats of ice-cold armour has been on sale.. Yet, its to darn difficult to get one.. The funny thing still holds though, that no matter how painstaking it is getting your hands on those priceless wardrobes, it only takes a few seconds of smiles to break it down..

Ah! Fortresses that took so long to be built.. Darn it! Darn the moment it started to collapse.. Darn the being who made it fell.. Darn thee..

Mush mush.. Yeah.. You owe it all to your psyche.. Not to that cardiac object that keeps torrents of whatever flow through you.. Your Psyche! So to screen yourself from that unbearable stinging, do not let anyone invade it.. For invasion of one’s psyche can be as fatal as a viral infection.. Mush mush, one of the most deadly diseases one could ever get..

*blech*